Things I have learned since getting engaged...

So the main bit of big news this week is… we have an official date! We’re keeping that under wraps for now, but it is definitely 100% confirmed, as this week we managed to secure both the church and our reception venue, and are so happy with both. I feel like at this stage we can share the locations with you; we are getting married at a beautiful church in East Hendred, which as I mentioned in a previous blog, Anthony has been going to since he was born. We will then be travelling 25 minutes into Oxford, and will be hosting our reception at De Vere Oxford Thames – I’ve attached a few photos but we are keeping the main ones to ourselves for now – I'm sure if you go onto the website you can get a pretty good idea of what it looks like if you want a better idea. It is in a perfect location, right on the river with a boat that we can have photos on (fingers crossed for no rain, but it is February so we may have to invest in some umbrellas!) and really close to Oxford City Centre, so people are welcome to go into town during the day, or even if they want to finish the party elsewhere when our disco closes!

We’ve now hit a bit of a lull in the planning (a very welcome lull, this month has been pretty intense!), and are just focusing on establishing a budget for the rest of the day, and maybe finalising a few smaller details. This leaves me at a tricky blogging situation as there isn’t a huge amount happening now/in the near future, so therefore there isn’t much to write about. Something that I have been thinking about is perceptions on engagement, and small things that I have picked up on since getting engaged. Some of them are really positive, some less so; at this stage I would just like to reassure people that even though there are some negative things in this particular blog post, it is not a direct dig at anyone reading this, nor is it ruining the engagement process! I'm still very much in love, and massively enjoying planning our wedding together. 

So I mentioned in my last blog post about what I'm calling bridal bias – this is still such a massive thing in everything that we enquire about! For people who haven’t read the last blog, we’re basically talking about how the general perception is that once a couple is engaged, all the groom has to do is turn up on the day, the rest of the planning is down to the bride. We’ve come to terms with it now and accepted that generally, that’s the way it is and we’ll just learn to live with it (that doesn’t mean that we’re following it!). It’s also pretty enjoyable for us when we are enquiring about something; the panic/confusion on the person’s face when Anthony pulls out a list of questions is priceless!

Talking about priceless, here comes lesson number two… weddings are certainly not! Everything is SO expensive! Obviously we knew that going into this, and we’re so incredibly fortunate that we’ve got family massively helping us out financially. Having said that we are still determined to make our own significant financial contribution, and are still trying to stick to our bargain-babe roots with our planning. But it is scary how quickly a four-figured number becomes normal.

Another thing we’re rapidly learning… guest lists are stressful! I hate the fact that we’re having to determine how much each person is worth to us, and whether they should be a day guest, or an evening guest, or not even a guest at all! We’re not the sort of people who pick and choose favourites, and yet we’re currently having to! There’s also the politics of “if we invite this person, we also have to invite that person…” – it’s amazing how quickly it adds up. Then considering the fact that we have to pay for each of those people adds the pressure of how much do we want them there, and then we’re also being mindful of the fact that the wedding is still a year away; in that time, some people will move away, new people will come into our lives, and the numbers will inevitably fluctuate. Luckily our wedding coordinator at De Vere is really helpful and understanding about guest numbers, and so the pressure isn’t so intense.

So just one more personal issue I have had (again, this is not directed at anyone in particular) – the word “bridezilla” is tossed around much too lightly. It is one of the last things that any bride wants to be called, and yet in just over a month that word has been directed at me twice. I was talking to one of my friends who is also engaged, and she has had the exact same thing happen to her. Ironically, if we were planning a birthday party, or a christening, people would be telling us how we’re so organised, and so on top of things, but because it is a wedding, we instantly become bridezillas. Again, at this point I would like to remind you that none of these issues are really ruining the experience for me, they’re just things that I’m sure other people can relate to, and I really want this blog to be relatable!

So now I’ll move on to the more positive aspects. The main thing that I’ve noticed is that I'm just generally a lot happier day to day! And also definitely more emotional (I didn’t even know that was possible!). I also feel so much happier with our relationship – that makes it sound like it was on a downer, or that we were having issues – that is not true at all before anyone worries! But as I mentioned in a recent post, it is so easy when you live together to forget how special your relationship is – it just becomes a standard part of life. Now that we’re engaged, it’s almost like a honeymoon period all over again, and we’re both so happy and excited all the time.

Another thing that I’ve noticed is that when I see photos of other couples, whether they be married, or a new couple, or just a regular couple-selfie, it makes me really happy! It sounds so ridiculous, and a bit ludicrous really but another thing I want this blog to be is honest! I also LOVE hearing about other people’s weddings and engagements – I met a woman the other day who got engaged at Wizarding World Orlando, and we properly bonded over our Harry Potter proposals, it was so nice! And I’ve always loved hearing about other people’s weddings, but now it's also nice to be able to take elements from stories I hear that I like and be able to put them into our day.

Another thing that I really love (and this definitely sounds like bragging but to be honest I can’t even help it) – MY RING IS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I cannot believe how perfect Anthony got it, and I love so much that he picked the band and the diamond separately. And it’s so sparkly!!! I was showing someone a bracelet the other day who barely knew me, so definitely didn’t know I was engaged. She complimented my ring, and it genuinely made my day – it just seems to stand out all the time. I'm so excited that I love it so much, it was always one of my engagement nightmares that Anthony would open the ring box and I would hate what’s inside. The other thing that I 

desperately didn’t want was for him to propose with some sort of token and then us go to pick my ring together. I do think that is a good idea and don’t judge couples who choose to do that at all, but to me personally it was important that Anthony picked my ring – I wanted it to be something that we both liked, and for him to have put his own little twist on it, which he definitely did! (See the photo of it glowing “slightly” under UV light, tech geek through and through!)

So to summarise, engagement includes good and bad things! But overall it is just so overwhelmingly special, and actually I'm really enjoying sharing it with all of you. I don’t know what the next post will be, but I may retry something I attempted on Saturday… I was running out of ideas of what to write about and read somewhere that it can be really funny to get drunk and then write a blog. So, I got a bit tipsy, then got a bit drunk, then got very drunk, then got way too drunk to write! What I attempted is really funny so I'm gonna include it here for your enjoyment, I hope that next time’s is more coherent!

“So I’ve heard that drunk words are sober thoughts – to be fair I don’t have anything to hide but I tought I may as well gibve it a go anyway. And at tjis sate igve given ip autocrecting cos who has time for that. I'm not even that frujnk but rately type on a laptop anf mornaly iphone autocorrects!” – it was at this point that I gave up and went back to watching Bride Wars (which has definitely become one of my favourite films!). So for now, goodbye and I’ll see you next time!