We bought a flat!

Hello again! I guess apologies are in order for the amount of time it has been since my last post... but I promise I’ve been busy, not just ridiculously lazy (I wish it had been laziness!). I have no idea where this blog post is going to go, so it’s probably worth grabbing a cup of tea (or a gin!), because you could be in for a long slog!

So where have I been? For those of you who don’t know, myself and Anthony have moved into our new flat, (which we own!). It’s all very exciting, though that is not the first word that springs to mind when I think about our experience… exhausting is more apt! Unfortunately, because we are both saving our work holiday for the wedding, we’ve not really booked any extra days off to deal with the move, which I think has made everything all the more overwhelming and knackering.

So, let’s begin at the beginning. We were fortunate enough that the new flat didn’t NEED any urgent work doing; it has recently been decorated and new carpets laid, and the kitchen and bathroom were also in good nick. However, as I’m sure most of you can imagine, when you’ve been living in rented accommodation for 5 years, as soon as you get your own place, you want to make it your own. Anthony hated the decoration in the new place, and I wasn’t overwhelmed by it. The plan was to have a couple of weeks where we overlapped with the flats, so that we could decorate the new place before we moved in. This didn’t quite happen… all we managed was to paint half the kitchen! In hindsight, this wasn’t even a useful room to paint as we didn’t need to move any furniture in, but shoulda woulda coulda – I could go on forever about what we should have done!

On moving day, we hired a van – I drove, and thought I would hate it. But I loved it!! And we couldn’t have managed without it, it was our saving grace. We started properly moving stuff over on the Monday morning, and by the Tuesday evening, we were completely in. The Tuesday evening was definitely my low point. We spent over 6 hours deep cleaning our old place, and it really did seem like we were fighting a losing battle. I also didn’t anticipate it taking more than 2 hours, and I HATE cleaning! That, alongside the physical exhaustion of moving, did not equal a happy Natalie, and I’m sorry Anthony! I was truly a nightmare that night.

Decorating around the furniture and boxes was a royal pain; this is when we did become grateful that the kitchen was decorated, as we managed to get rid of 5 large boxes by unboxing kitchen stuff. We did most of the decorating ourself, and almost all of our colour ideas were mutual – the only exception is the bedroom, where I had no idea what colours I wanted, until Anthony suggested we decorate in our wedding colours, which I LOVED! Below are some transformation pictures:

 

   

These transformation pictures are by no means the finished product!! We’re still living in a fair amount of clutter; unfortunately, Anthony has been working ridiculous hours due to the get-in for the summer show at the theatre he works in; he’s been working 14 hour days every day for the last couple of weeks, which has meant that we’ve had very little time to work on the flat together. However, every day it feels more like home; we’ve added a few finishing touches, such as a Harry Potter doormat, our bed (complete with all our books), and our sofa (which I assembled myself! And was then basically useless for the next 3 days due to extreme muscle aching...)

 

I feel like this blog is a bit rambly, so I apologise for that, but I’m still shattered! And any update is better than no update, right? Long story short, we are making this place home, and I have every confidence that this place will be so beautiful when we’re done with it. It’s a massive change from living on the High Street, but I think both myself and Anthony are actually 60 years old inside, so this place suits us to a tee!

In terms of wedding, we have done very little! But I’m not stressed about that because we had got so much done in the first 6 months. The main things we’ll be sorting in the next few weeks is notice of marriage, invitations, window shopping for suits and finding ways to incorporate all of our passions into the day. Currently, I’m actually not hugely missing the wedding planning, because I’ve been so tired and busy with everything else. But I am at a friends wedding on Saturday, and I have a feeling that will thoroughly refuel the fire! I’m also waiting for an email from my wedding dress shop, as she said my first fitting will probably be around September; that feels completely unreal!!! I think it will all sink in again very rapidly from then.

Anyway, I’ve done enough waffling here to last a lifetime, so I’ll leave it there, but thanks for being patient! I'll update you as and when I can :)

X

Ring Shopping

So today was one of the best days of wedding planning ever. Everything is pretty much back on track, in fact, it’s so much further ahead than it was! Long story short, we officially have our new venue (with alterations to suit us), we've sorted our wedding cake, and the biggie is… we have wedding rings!

So as most of you will know from my previous blog post, unfortunately we lost our original venue. I'm not going to linger on that because it’s still upsetting for me, so if you do want to know more about it then check out the post before this one, as it explains exactly what happened. But everything happens for a reason, and the further into planning we get, the more I'm starting to believe that it was a good thing for us. We had loads of stuff that we wanted to finalise with Fiona (our amazing wedding coordinator at Milton Hill) before we signed the contract and paid the deposit, so we arranged to meet her this morning before heading up to Birmingham to go ring shopping. And as this is a bit of a trek, we decided to stay at Anthony's parents’ house last night.

Kate (Anthony's mum) is one of the best bakers that I've ever met, and we had

previously asked her to make the wedding cake, but topics of conversation moved on and I don’t think any of us knew where we stood, Kate included! So we took the opportunity to talk it through with her; it's so important to us that it won’t stop her enjoying the day due to stress, but at the same time, we'd love for her to be such an important part of our day. So we went through a book she had, we reassured her that we don’t want a fancy cake, just something simple with three tiers, each a different flavour. She's agreed that it's doable,

and we found a few cakes that we liked the look of; this one was our main inspiration and I'm sure the finished product will look very similar to this, but without any flowers on the cake, and loads around the base of the cake stand. It's nice to finally have an idea of what our cake will look like, and it really does mean the world that Kate will be making it!

So this morning we left with smiles on our faces and a whole host of questions for Fiona, and for the first time, I got a warm feeling when we got to Milton Hill; I think its finally hitting me that it's our wedding venue, and its so beautiful! Fiona was amazing (again), she moved our buffet room free of charge to another room that we preferred (and has easier access to the bar!), which means we will also have room to put some small entertainment pieces in for the guests (keeping that quiet for now though!) We smoothed out a few other details, during which time I was reassured that 3 months before the wedding, we go through a 100 question document (anyone who knows me will know how much my eyes lit up at that prospect!) Before we knew it, we’d signed the contract and paid the deposit, and once again, we have a wedding venue. We feel so much more prepared than we did with the previous venue, the rooms are nicer – it’s all just a lot better!

So again, we set off with smiles! We had Disney blaring in the car all the way

to Birmingham, and arrived with spirit high. It was a long journey, but so worth it; Newey's was where Anthony bought my engagement ring from, and I’ve always loved the idea of getting the rings from the same place. And having been there myself, I cannot fault it. Every single item of jewellery was gorgeous, and it really didn’t take long at all to find the sort of rings we wanted. I originally wanted a ring like the one on the right, but having tried it with my engagement ring, it just didn’t work; the dip in the ring wasn’t big enough. Then I found this one, and I loved it instantly! Anthony was just as keen, which has always been important to me. 

He actually took longer than me to choose his ring! The first ring was too thick, the next too thin... he’s actually got a custom made one which is between two sizes of thickness. Both of us have gone with platinum to match my engagement ring, and both rings are significantly under budget – we didn’t even have to haggle!

 I also want to give a shout out to the lady who served us; unfortunately we didn’t get her name, but she was so incredible. She sized both our fingers correctly just by looking at them (and then measured to confirm), she was honest with her opinions, she listened and suggested amazing rings, and managed to create exactly what we wanted. The company also clearly value loyalty; both of us got a reduction on our wedding bands because my engagement ring came from there, and they also resized my engagement ring for free! My finger no longer looks like it’s about to explode (though the sizing is totally my fault!

I told Anthony what size to get year after year, but didn’t consider that my finger might be bigger since I was 18 and have grown 2 dress sizes...). I cannot recommend this company enough, if you're looking for any sort of jewellery then check them out!

It has been the best day, I genuinely think it’s been my favourite part of the planning so far! I cannot wait to have that ring on my finger for the rest of my life. 

That’s all for now, and it may be a while until the next post, as we’ve not got anything major to book in the next few weeks. But as soon as we hit the next wedding milestone, you'll be some of the first to know!

See you then!

X

Something had to go wrong… but maybe it’s gone right?

This is not a blog post that I ever intended to write. You always hear that something has to go wrong with your wedding, and to just be prepared when it does. I expected it to be something relatively minor; I’ve already accepted that it’s likely to rain on our day, it’s going to be cold, I'm so ridiculously clumsy that I’m bound to fall over walking down the aisle, and someone will probably throw up on the dance floor! What I didn’t expect was to have our dream venue snatched away in seconds.

We’d been back in the UK for about 20 minutes, having just ended our holiday in Paris (which was AMAZING!) when my phone rang. I saw it was the wedding venue so answered, expecting them to want to book in menu tasting or something. What I got instead was that the room we booked (which we’d been promised was being renovated over summer and turned into a private function room, which would definitely 100% be ready for our wedding) is no longer having the refurbishment. Or more accurately, it is, but they can’t guarantee when. They say January, but then they said April to us so who knows. Either way, it doesn’t work for our wedding date.

It was like the world stood still for a moment. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, it was like a nightmare. Most of you are probably reading this thinking we should have known that there was an element of risk booking a room which didn’t exist as a function room at the time, but we were assured that it was definitely happening – it didn’t even cross my mind that it might fall through. Some of you are also probably thinking, it's just a room, get over it. But it was perfect. Exactly what we both wanted. And this isn’t just a party, this is the most special day of our lives. So naturally, we were both heartbroken.

But anyone who knows us knows that we’re not the sort to wallow. We poured ourselves some VERY large gin and tonics, and set to work trying to fix this mess. The way we saw it, we had 3 options; move our date, find a different room in the hotel, or just move venue completely. We very quickly agreed that neither of us wanted to move the date; it already holds emotional significance to us as our wedding day (and we already had to move our date at the very beginning of planning!) and we’ve booked too much to move it now. I'm also loving watching the count down to the big day, and to suddenly add on a year would be gutting. So we arranged to go and see our venue early on Tuesday (our next available day together) to see what they could offer, and also booked in two appointments elsewhere; one with one of the venues we cancelled on after seeing our dream room, and then one with Milton Hill House, which you might remember from the Venue Hunting Blog.

We found out about the venue debacle on Friday, and couldn’t do anything until Monday as they were away for the weekend. By Tuesday, upset had turned to anger, which had turned to concern, which then moulded into one big mess of emotion. This emotion all poured out when we got to De Vere; our (ex) reception room is currently their hotel reception, and as soon as we walked in, I very quickly had to go and excuse myself. I don’t think either of us anticipated how emotional it would be walking back into that room knowing that we could no longer use it for our wedding. The manager who dealt with us was lovely, and she offered us more than she would to any other potential wedding client; price reductions, difficult layouts for the tables, anything really within her power. And the other room she offered was nice, but it wasn’t the barn, and to have to walk through that barn to go to a relatively basic room – it’d just be too upsetting.

On that basis, we decided to go elsewhere. The second venue we looked at didn’t really grab us, and was quite expensive so onto Milton Hill. I think by the time we got there we’d already basically decided that we wanted it; we loved it on our first viewing, and had we never been to see the barn, we probably would have booked it anyway.

Fiona (the wedding coordinator we were talking with last time) welcomed us back instantly; she was so thorough with trying to work out what we had planned so far and how she could accommodate it at Milton Hill; I honestly can't sing her praises enough, she’s made everything so much easier for us. She walked us around the venue again, which gave us the chance to remember how much we liked it before (the drinks reception room is so beautiful!!) and listened so intently to any questions we had. She also reassured us that there are no planned renovations! Which was definitely reassuring to hear.

Milton Hill House is a beautiful venue, and suits us really well. Its accommodation is also A LOT cheaper – if you’re a guest at our wedding and planning on staying over, then good news – this mishap has saved you £60!! And it's also a lot closer to the church, which means less travel time and more time to boogie at the end of the night. 

This whole situation has been exhausting, and so upsetting. But several people have said to me that everything happens for a reason, and that is something that I do firmly believe. It's upsetting for now, but I do love Milton Hill, and Anthony has always been really keen. I keep reminding myself that ultimately, it doesn’t matter where we get married, the commitment is the most important thing. I'm so glad that it's Anthony I’ve gone through this with; he’s been so supportive, and held my hand the whole way through, dried my tears, given me encouraging smiles – he even serenaded me with Disney in the car! And none of this has been easy for him either, we both loved that room and he was choked up when we entered it today, he’s just better at keeping it together than I am. I can totally understand how planning a wedding can push two people apart, but I feel that for us, it's just pulling us closer together. I’ve never been surer that Anthony is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. 

Wedding Dress Shopping

Hi guys, first things first, an apology is in order! There has been a ridiculous amount of time between blog posts, mainly because instead of writing about my life, I’ve been super busy trying to get it in order! I didn’t want to write about it because I didn’t want to jinx it, and it could still fall through, but one of the main things that’s been keeping both myself and Anthony crazy busy has been that we’re in the process of buying a flat. It's still small and modest, but it's a lot bigger than where we are now, and most importantly, it will be 100% ours to do what we want with (not that much needs doing!). We’re both super excited and also still keeping everything crossed that it doesn’t fall through, but we are at the stage where we’ve done all we can, and it's out of our hands now.

We also go to Disneyland Paris in less than two weeks (eek!) so have been trying to plan for that, but alongside both having full time jobs, buying a flat, helping Dad move into his new house, wedding planning, and general housework, it's been a mad time! So that gives you an idea of what we’ve been up to in the last couple of months, and now let’s move to the point of the blog. I can't really remember where we were in terms of wedding planning in my last blog, but we’ve got a lot more sorted recently; we’ve booked transport, we’ve booked the florist, we’ve found the most BEAUTIFUL bridesmaid dresses I have ever seen, and most importantly… I have a wedding dress!

So before you go desperately scrolling through this post to find photos, there will be no photos on this blog at all, not even the reject dresses! I will be writing a blog with loads of photos of me in an array of dresses, but for very obvious reasons, that will not be uploaded until after the wedding, so I’m sorry but you’ve got to wait at least 8 months for that one! This post will mainly be me talking about the experience of dress shopping, as well as talking about the shops we went to, but the actual mention of dresses will probably be pretty scarce!

So how was dress shopping? Well the whole experience was amazing, but actually really hard to describe; I feel like all the wedding planning we’ve done so far could almost be for someone else’s wedding, but when you look at yourself in a wedding dress, there’s no denying that this is all for you! I think I felt a bit numb for a lot of the day, because it just didn’t feel real. You spend your whole life dreaming of the moment you wear a wedding dress, and then to see yourself in one is so overwhelming!

I would advise people not to read up too much on what to expect before you go – the only thing you need to consider before you get there is are you wearing decent underwear, because you spend most the day basically naked in front of strangers! But I’d read in so many different articles and magazines to shop around, and try everything, which I did. However this led me to being uber critical about every dress. You also hear that when you find “the one”, you’ll know straight away. What I'm about to say is going to sound bad, but I didn’t get that “the one” moment when I put my dress on. Not because my dress isn’t perfect – it definitely is, and I love it SO much! But I was overthinking EVERYTHING. It also didn’t help that my dress was in a sample size 8, so didn’t even do up; because of that it was quite hard to imagine how it’ll look when it fits (but the more time that passes, the more I know it's going to look amazing – I actually miss it, I want to see it again!). I was looking for faults in every aspect of every dress, and even though I couldn’t find anything that I didn’t like about my dress, I still wasn’t convinced. Looking back, I think this was denial. I was so in shock about it, and the fact that I might have just found my wedding dress… it just felt really surreal.

I tried on more dresses after finding “the one”, and this I think was when I started to realise that nothing compared to that dress – and my dress didn’t even look amazing on me at that time because it didn’t fit! It was trying on more dresses that made that “this is the one” moment start to kick in, and as I said earlier, I am now 100% sure that it is “the one”. But all I would say to future brides is don’t be disheartened if you don’t fall in love with it straight away! It doesn’t mean that it isn’t “the one”, and the more dresses that you put on after it, the more you’ll realise how right it was; you’ll want to kick yourself that you didn’t realise straight away!

I would still personally recommend going to at least 3 dress shops; each of the ones I went to was a totally different experience, each as amazing as the last but in a totally different way! For anyone who is interested, I went to Heritage Brides in Hatfield (it’s in a converted barn and was by far the most beautiful dress shop I have ever seen!), The Wedding Gallery in St Albans, and Dress in Love in Hertford. I would wholeheartedly recommend each one of them, they were all so welcoming, so helpful, and so friendly! As well as being really professional; each of them seemed to know my personal style before even I did! And for those of you who want to be super nosy (like I would be!)… The Wedding Gallery was my favourite shop, as that is not only where I found my dress, but we also found incredible bridesmaid dresses there, and cannot fault the service or the experience they gave me. I feel slightly overwhelmed whenever I think about the time I had there, because it was just so amazing.

I feel like I’ve written all I can about the whole experience, but my main point is to reassure people that you won’t necessarily know straight away, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! I'm falling more in love with my dress every day, and it's such an amazing feeling.

I don’t know when my next blog post will be, or what it will be about, but for now (even though I said no photos) I'm gonna leave you with a little treat… this is the face of someone seeing themselves in a wedding dress for the first time! (Disclaimer – this is not my dress! Simply the first one I tried on).

See you soon!

x

Surviving Long Distance

Hey guys! So in terms of wedding, there is very little to report – we have chosen a photographer and are in the process of booking, and in the next week or two (probably month) we will have sent out our save the dates, but for now it’s mainly research for things rather than booking. As a result of that, I have very little to write about with regards to the wedding, so I thought that as this blog is about me becoming Mrs Holmes, I’d give you another insight into our past.

As most people will know, we got through three years of long distance while we were at university. Before I go any further, this blog is not at all an advice article on how to survive long distance, because there is no answer – you just have to find what works for you. I am also so aware that although I would definitely count us as long distance, I know that so many couples have it so much worse – we had over 200 miles between us, but at the end of the day, it was just one train, 3 hours and with luck, about £40 and we were together again. Some couples have to cross oceans, get up at ungodly hours to speak to their partner in a different time zone, and spend an insane amount of money on flights. I'm not expecting sympathy in this blog, and equally I want to stress that I am not writing this to advise people on how to maintain a long distance relationship; I'm just giving an honest account on what was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been a part of.

So before we went to uni, we had already been together for over a year and a half, so we had a really strong foundation to build on. We also kept each other in mind while looking at universities, but agreed from the start that we would not hold each other back from going to a university far away. We knew that Anthony was going into theatre, and so it was highly probable that he would end up in London, though he did also look at Old Vic (Bristol) and LIPA (Liverpool). I was much harder to pinpoint - you can study psychology at pretty much every university in this country! Some universities I preferred purely because of their close proximity to London, such as Brunel. Others I looked at because they were highly rated. Ironically, I only went to look at York to shut Mum up – she loved the city and was determined I should go to uni there! But the second I set foot there, I knew that was it – I was gonna work my butt off to get the grades and go to the city that I instantly felt most at home. Anthony was always so supportive of how much I wanted to go there, even though we knew it would make our relationship so much harder because of the distance. And fortunately for us, we both got into our dream universities! Though it meant that we had a pretty sizeable distance between us, I think it helped us that we were both so happy where we were.

So September hit, and Anthony was off to uni. We’d made the agreement before we left that we wouldn’t see each other within our first two weeks of arriving at uni. We thought that would actually be pretty tough but I think anyone who’s experienced Fresher’s can appreciate just how much is going on in that week. You’re getting involved in all sorts of activities, and making friends with complete strangers that you now live with, learning how to cook/balance bills/budget, missing home, and of course I missed Anthony, but with all that was going on, it wasn’t too overwhelming. Though Anthony didn’t really have a Fresher’s week, he was so busy with work at RADA that I feel fairly confident in saying that he felt the same way. When the two weeks had passed and I went to visit him, it was so nice to see his new life, and I felt like a part of it straight away. Then, before I knew it, I’d been at uni for two weeks and he was up visiting me in York. I was lucky enough that he got on like a house on fire with my flatmates, and was happy to let me lead him around my new hometown, and share my experiences so far with him.

Then the reality of uni hit. You’re not going out as much anymore, you’re actually having to do some work, you’re starting to really miss home, and it's just not as exciting as it was. Don’t get me wrong, I loved uni (particularly first year!) but I think it was really starting to hit home what we’d got ourselves into, and how hard it was going to be. And the two weeks that initially flew by, began to seem like they were travelling at a snail pace. I had incredible friends to keep me going but the pain didn’t get much easier.

There aren’t really any words to describe the elation when we got to see each other after a few weeks apart. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and though I don’t necessarily agree (we’re just as fond of each other when we live together as when we saw each other after a few weeks), I do agree that the time you spend together when you’re long distance, is much better quality. You just can't stop making plans, you’re going for dinner, to see a show, to go on day trips – and you just feel so unbelievably in love. But the heartbreak when saying goodbye? To me it doesn’t compare to anything I’ve ever known. I'm fortunate enough that I’ve never had my heart broken by a boy – Anthony is the only relationship I’ve ever had. But sitting next to him on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive and watching him get on and leave me stood on a platform crying, was horrendous. It obviously works both ways, and actually I don’t think it was any easier being the person on the train - if anything it's worse, because you feel like you're abandoning your partner; you're the one physically leaving. It's like you can feel the distance between you growing, like someone is stretching an elastic band – the further it gets, the more it feels like it’s going to break.

So how did we get through it? Again, I’d like to stress that this is not advice! It is just my account of what happened and what worked for us. So the main thing that I would say is key to maintain a long distance relationship is a no-brainer really – communication. You have to accept that you will have to speak to each other as and when you can, and when you both have very different schedules, this can be a nightmare to fit in. We spent a lot of time texting and spoke when we could – it didn’t feel like enough but it was better than nothing, and it got us through.

The other thing to be aware of – you will have to make sacrifices. And lots of them. You will miss parties, you will miss family events, you will struggle to be a part of any sort of society - basically it will feel like you miss a lot! And another thing you will miss – money. I always imagined that I probably would get a part time job at university, but if I wanted our relationship to work, then financially I had no choice (though I'm so glad I worked at Disney, it was one of the best parts of my whole university experience!). Ironically, having a job also makes it harder to see each other because you have another area of your life that you have to plan around! So I'm very grateful to the managers who were at Disney with me, they were so understanding and gave me most weekends off to be able to go and see Anthony/for him to visit me. 

There’s also so many costs that you don’t consider initially. So you expect the train ticket cost, that’s fine (though you don’t realise how soon it adds up!) but we would easily spend at least £100 every time we saw each other, not including the train! We were constantly seeing shows, going for dinner, even just getting takeaways. So we worked out, at an average of seeing each other every three weeks for three years – that’s over £5000!!! Such an insane amount of money, which I know was worth it, because we wouldn’t be together if we hadn’t, but it can get depressing to think about how far that money could go now.

One of the worst parts of long distance for me was the lack of comfort. You can text, you can talk on the phone, but sometimes, you just need a hug. Knowing that you won’t get that hug for another two weeks is so crushing. But on that note, Anthony was seriously the best person I could ever have been in a long distance relationship with. There were several occasions where I was having a tough time, and he came up to York just for one night as a surprise to comfort me. Even when I wasn’t having a bad time, he surprised me by visiting all the time! The most memorable of which to me was my 19th birthday party - my first birthday at uni and he "couldn't make it". I was gutted, and to be honest, slightly resentful, but I had to just move on and deal with it. I was also lucky enough that three of my friends from home were coming to join, so I threw myself into that and was so excited for some quality time with them! Then, while we were all pre-drinking, the doorbell goes, and my flatmate goes to get it. By this point I'm having a great night, loving spending time with my friends and had almost forgotten that Anthony wasn't there! Then who walks through the door? He does. I lost it, as did several other people in the room - I was definitely not the only one crying! Though it unfortunately meant that I didn't get to spend quite such quality time with my friends from home, it still meant the world to me. And Carys, Kate and Holly, if you read this, I'm so sorry I didn't spend enough time with you that night. But I hope you feel that in the long run it was worth it - from memory (or lack of it...) we definitely made up for it on other girls nights! 

Though long distance was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, it's also made us who we are, and I will be forever grateful for that. I believe that it is the main reason that we are such a strong couple today, particularly given the lifestyle that we lead! Neither of us have 9-5 Monday to Friday jobs, our hours at work are always fairly unpredictable, but I think being long distance taught us how to be grateful for each other’s company but also how to enjoy time on our own.

So, to summarise, long distance is hard! But I strongly believe that if you want to make it work, then it will work, it just won’t be easy. I wouldn’t change a thing about our past, including being long distance, and I hope that to anyone reading this who is/has been in a long distance relationship, this can remind you why you keep committing to it - because it is worth every second in the end. And for those of you who haven’t been long distance, I hope it's given you some insight into how I felt about it. I'd also just like to add a thanks to everyone who supported us through it, the list could go on forever so I won't mention anyone by name but I know there were so many people I phoned on the train home and sobbed to - your support is not forgotten, and I will be grateful for it every day. 

That’s it for this blog post, but I'm sure there’ll be another one soon! Thanks for reading 😊

Our First Wedding Fair!

Hey guys! It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, but as I mentioned last time, we took a small break from planning after securing our venue, just to enjoy being engaged. Therefore, there isn’t actually much to update you on! The main thing that I’m going to be writing about is the wedding fair that we attended together on Sunday, which was a first for both of us.

So as most people will know, I’ve always loved weddings, and have always wanted to go to a wedding fair. There were days before we got engaged where I was tempted to just pop along to one just for fun! However, now with hindsight, I’m so glad that I didn’t – the fact that it was a first for both of us made it all the more special.

When we went to this wedding fair, we went with no intention of buying anything – our wedding is in Oxfordshire and this fair was in Stevenage, so logistically it made no sense for bookings and also we’ve still got loads of time to decide on exactly what we want (Anthony’s pretty determined to keep me from making spontaneous decisions, and so far he’s doing pretty well!). We’re both trying to make the wedding relatively unique and not to clichéd so the intention behind going to the fair was to get ideas.

So the first thing to note about the day was the horrendous weather. It was rainy and grey all day, so we didn’t really get the chance to look at any of the cars parked outside; typical as one of the main things we wanted inspiration for was cars! We arrived relatively early so it wasn’t too busy which was nice, it meant that we could see exactly what each stand was for and we were given the time that we wanted by each individual stall-owner.

Initially we just walked around to get a sense of exactly how many stalls there were and what they were offering. It was so exciting, and made it all seem so much more real – it's amazing how telling strangers your wedding date can make it really hit home! We also had plenty of “bridal bias” displays – firstly, every single form to put details on asked for the bride’s details, not the grooms. There was one photography stall at which I felt out of my depth, so we agreed to put Anthony’s details down – even after us discussing that with him he still handed the form to me! It still hasn’t lost the element of fun watching people’s face when Anthony reels off a load of questions!

The first stall as we entered was a married couple who provide photo booths, and they were amazing. We had been pre-warned that people will jump on you the second you walk past to try and sell you a product, and they didn’t do that at all! We just spent 10 minutes talking about our wedding, and I mentioned about my blog, which is when the lady (Nicky Tribble) told me about her blog! She blogs from a professional perspective, and I haven’t had a chance to check it out yet, but I believe it is called “The Wedding Insider” if anyone is interested in having a read!

After about twenty minutes of wandering around, we went and got ourselves seated ready for the fashion show, which was going to display bridal wear, grooms wear and attire for page boys. The little boys modelling the page boy outfits were so cute! I wanted to hire them to walk down the aisle with us, they were so adorable! Definitely wish we had more children in the family. However the thought of getting married without having to worry about children screaming through our vows does bring me back to earth, and actually I think we’re getting married at the best possible part of life for us. The clothing that we saw was nice to get ideas from, but nothing grabbed our attention too much. There was more that we didn’t want than did want, but even that was great – just any inspiration or ideas are great at this stage!

After the show we went back into the fair and went back to some of the stalls that caught our eye – we haven’t actually looked any further into any the businesses since the fair (we've been so busy with work etc!), so I’ll just be talking about them from the face value impression that we got. One of the companies which made a sensational first impression were Lord Cars. We haven't checked, but I get the impression that they are probably pretty pricey, but from what we heard they are worth the price! Their level of service seemed exceptional, they even hang around during the day to help with any small jobs that need doing. We haven’t been inspired by any particular style of car, Lord Cars deal with vintage/classic cars which is a potential for us, so we will definitely be checking them out!

There were a couple of jewellers who also caught our eye – Godshaw Jewellers and Smooch. Both of them can custom make rings to fit around engagement rings (useful for me as my engagement ring is not a straight shape) in any metal, with or without diamonds, and are very flexible to our needs. We’ll probably look at both – I still really like the idea of getting our wedding rings from the shop my engagement ring came from (Newey’s Jewellers), but at this stage I'm staying open minded (check me out Anthony!).

Carole Smith’s floral designs were also beautiful. We’ll almost definitely use a florist in Oxford for our flowers, but we got so many great ideas of colours and designs from Carole! Neither of us have come up with any
good centrepiece designs, but she really inspired me – I’ve put in photos of two of the designs that I particularly liked. Anthony isn’t keen, but I'm confident that we can find some sort of compromise. She was also really helpful with flower types, prices, and colours – basically if you’re having an event in Hertfordshire which requires flowers, then look her up!

Only two more I want to mention! A Touch of Sparkle are amazing for any stationary needs! We’ve done our own save the dates but if we decide to buy invites, we will almost definitely use this company. She also does table plans, place names, menus etc. and also had nice little quirks like a “good wishes well”. Definitely been inspired by her creations!

The final one was our favourite, we have looked at prices and tried to find a way to make them work but we just can't justify the cost. However, for people with larger budgets, Tell Your Story Photography take such beautiful pictures! The main thing that made me interested was the fact that there are two of them there on your day, so you get professional photos of both the bride and groom getting ready, and loads of different shots throughout the day. They seemed really professional and take very natural, un-posed photos. Very much our style! But the cost was too much for us personally, and we have seen so many other beautiful photographers, and are in the pipeline with enquiries, so we’re not too gutted.

That just about sums up the wedding fair! It was a really fun day and I love how much Anthony was genuinely into it, I'm so thankful for him every day. As ever, I'm not sure when or what the next blog will be about, but keep your eyes peeled and I'm sure that there will be another one soon!

Things I have learned since getting engaged...

So the main bit of big news this week is… we have an official date! We’re keeping that under wraps for now, but it is definitely 100% confirmed, as this week we managed to secure both the church and our reception venue, and are so happy with both. I feel like at this stage we can share the locations with you; we are getting married at a beautiful church in East Hendred, which as I mentioned in a previous blog, Anthony has been going to since he was born. We will then be travelling 25 minutes into Oxford, and will be hosting our reception at De Vere Oxford Thames – I’ve attached a few photos but we are keeping the main ones to ourselves for now – I'm sure if you go onto the website you can get a pretty good idea of what it looks like if you want a better idea. It is in a perfect location, right on the river with a boat that we can have photos on (fingers crossed for no rain, but it is February so we may have to invest in some umbrellas!) and really close to Oxford City Centre, so people are welcome to go into town during the day, or even if they want to finish the party elsewhere when our disco closes!

We’ve now hit a bit of a lull in the planning (a very welcome lull, this month has been pretty intense!), and are just focusing on establishing a budget for the rest of the day, and maybe finalising a few smaller details. This leaves me at a tricky blogging situation as there isn’t a huge amount happening now/in the near future, so therefore there isn’t much to write about. Something that I have been thinking about is perceptions on engagement, and small things that I have picked up on since getting engaged. Some of them are really positive, some less so; at this stage I would just like to reassure people that even though there are some negative things in this particular blog post, it is not a direct dig at anyone reading this, nor is it ruining the engagement process! I'm still very much in love, and massively enjoying planning our wedding together. 

So I mentioned in my last blog post about what I'm calling bridal bias – this is still such a massive thing in everything that we enquire about! For people who haven’t read the last blog, we’re basically talking about how the general perception is that once a couple is engaged, all the groom has to do is turn up on the day, the rest of the planning is down to the bride. We’ve come to terms with it now and accepted that generally, that’s the way it is and we’ll just learn to live with it (that doesn’t mean that we’re following it!). It’s also pretty enjoyable for us when we are enquiring about something; the panic/confusion on the person’s face when Anthony pulls out a list of questions is priceless!

Talking about priceless, here comes lesson number two… weddings are certainly not! Everything is SO expensive! Obviously we knew that going into this, and we’re so incredibly fortunate that we’ve got family massively helping us out financially. Having said that we are still determined to make our own significant financial contribution, and are still trying to stick to our bargain-babe roots with our planning. But it is scary how quickly a four-figured number becomes normal.

Another thing we’re rapidly learning… guest lists are stressful! I hate the fact that we’re having to determine how much each person is worth to us, and whether they should be a day guest, or an evening guest, or not even a guest at all! We’re not the sort of people who pick and choose favourites, and yet we’re currently having to! There’s also the politics of “if we invite this person, we also have to invite that person…” – it’s amazing how quickly it adds up. Then considering the fact that we have to pay for each of those people adds the pressure of how much do we want them there, and then we’re also being mindful of the fact that the wedding is still a year away; in that time, some people will move away, new people will come into our lives, and the numbers will inevitably fluctuate. Luckily our wedding coordinator at De Vere is really helpful and understanding about guest numbers, and so the pressure isn’t so intense.

So just one more personal issue I have had (again, this is not directed at anyone in particular) – the word “bridezilla” is tossed around much too lightly. It is one of the last things that any bride wants to be called, and yet in just over a month that word has been directed at me twice. I was talking to one of my friends who is also engaged, and she has had the exact same thing happen to her. Ironically, if we were planning a birthday party, or a christening, people would be telling us how we’re so organised, and so on top of things, but because it is a wedding, we instantly become bridezillas. Again, at this point I would like to remind you that none of these issues are really ruining the experience for me, they’re just things that I’m sure other people can relate to, and I really want this blog to be relatable!

So now I’ll move on to the more positive aspects. The main thing that I’ve noticed is that I'm just generally a lot happier day to day! And also definitely more emotional (I didn’t even know that was possible!). I also feel so much happier with our relationship – that makes it sound like it was on a downer, or that we were having issues – that is not true at all before anyone worries! But as I mentioned in a recent post, it is so easy when you live together to forget how special your relationship is – it just becomes a standard part of life. Now that we’re engaged, it’s almost like a honeymoon period all over again, and we’re both so happy and excited all the time.

Another thing that I’ve noticed is that when I see photos of other couples, whether they be married, or a new couple, or just a regular couple-selfie, it makes me really happy! It sounds so ridiculous, and a bit ludicrous really but another thing I want this blog to be is honest! I also LOVE hearing about other people’s weddings and engagements – I met a woman the other day who got engaged at Wizarding World Orlando, and we properly bonded over our Harry Potter proposals, it was so nice! And I’ve always loved hearing about other people’s weddings, but now it's also nice to be able to take elements from stories I hear that I like and be able to put them into our day.

Another thing that I really love (and this definitely sounds like bragging but to be honest I can’t even help it) – MY RING IS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I cannot believe how perfect Anthony got it, and I love so much that he picked the band and the diamond separately. And it’s so sparkly!!! I was showing someone a bracelet the other day who barely knew me, so definitely didn’t know I was engaged. She complimented my ring, and it genuinely made my day – it just seems to stand out all the time. I'm so excited that I love it so much, it was always one of my engagement nightmares that Anthony would open the ring box and I would hate what’s inside. The other thing that I 

desperately didn’t want was for him to propose with some sort of token and then us go to pick my ring together. I do think that is a good idea and don’t judge couples who choose to do that at all, but to me personally it was important that Anthony picked my ring – I wanted it to be something that we both liked, and for him to have put his own little twist on it, which he definitely did! (See the photo of it glowing “slightly” under UV light, tech geek through and through!)

So to summarise, engagement includes good and bad things! But overall it is just so overwhelmingly special, and actually I'm really enjoying sharing it with all of you. I don’t know what the next post will be, but I may retry something I attempted on Saturday… I was running out of ideas of what to write about and read somewhere that it can be really funny to get drunk and then write a blog. So, I got a bit tipsy, then got a bit drunk, then got very drunk, then got way too drunk to write! What I attempted is really funny so I'm gonna include it here for your enjoyment, I hope that next time’s is more coherent!

“So I’ve heard that drunk words are sober thoughts – to be fair I don’t have anything to hide but I tought I may as well gibve it a go anyway. And at tjis sate igve given ip autocrecting cos who has time for that. I'm not even that frujnk but rately type on a laptop anf mornaly iphone autocorrects!” – it was at this point that I gave up and went back to watching Bride Wars (which has definitely become one of my favourite films!). So for now, goodbye and I’ll see you next time!